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[LN] Volume 3: Chapter 5.3

Translator : PolterGlast

Spasim Forest shrouded in darkness.

In Shino\'s hut, Nozomu was alone, swinging his katana in frustration.

It was his habitual act of escapism. Furthermore, the way he was doing it was so ugly and poor that it could not be compared to his usual style.

His movements were sloppy. If his master were to see it, he would be thrown away with a shout of rage.

He himself was aware of his own hideous behavior, but he still couldn\'t stop it.

The rage that welled up inside him. The anger that kept swirling deep in his chest ignored the screams of his body.

"Haa, haa, haa......"

While he kept swinging his katana and gasping for air, a faint glow of Qi was pouring into the blades of the drawn katana.

He tried to create a Qi-blade by pouring in even his already exhausted Qi, but his katana would not respond at all.

Finally, his knees gave up and he was about to fall to the ground.

But he held on by stabbing his katana into the ground as if it were a cane, but his wobbling body would not budge contrary to his will.

His mind was rushed by regret and frustration, while his exhausted body had become completely disconnected from his mind.

"Ku~uu!"

Even so, Nozomu refused to give up and reached for the invisible chains that bound him.

It\'s all because of this .......

With such a scowl, he tried to tear off the chains, but the invisible chains, which could have been easily torn off like paper before, were now as hard as real iron and did not even budge.

His body can no longer move and his Qi has been squeezed dry. All that remains is guilt, regret, and self-pity.

"Damn it ......."

He punched the ground as hard as he could. Blood trickled from his bitten lip and dripped onto his knuckles.

In the silent forest, only the moonlight shining through the trees comforted him.

"There you are. I\'ve been looking for you......"

Nozomu was startled by the sudden voice and raised his face to see Shina Juliel coming out from behind the trees.

She was breathing heavily, seemed like she had run in a great hurry, and her glossy azure hair was a little disheveled.

"Why, are you here? ......"

"Of course, I came looking for you. You suddenly left and disappeared after all. ...... Everyone\'s looking for you, you know? ......."

"Everyone......."

Shina came next to Nozomu, who muttered with a disheartened expression, and sat down beside him while supporting his body.

"You see~. Irisdina-san, Tima-san, Somia-san. Anri-sensei, Mimuru, Tom, and even that pain in the ass Feo was also looking for you."

"I see ......"

Shina tried her best to speak cheerfully, but Nozomu\'s expression remained clouded.

Silence fell between them for a while.

"Looks like Irisdina-san is aware of your power as well, huh?"

"Did you hear about it from Iris?"

"Yeah, and also about everything that happened."

In response to Nozomu\'s question, Shina nodded her head and continued to speak.

"Release of [Ability Suppression]. I\'ve never heard of such a thing. Not even in the books in the school library. On top of that, you fought against a vampire from the Waziart Household, one of the seven households that hold the Dizard Empire together, and emerged victorious. That\'s very hard to believe, don\'t you think?"

"I guess so......"

"Well, if I didn\'t know you, I\'d dismiss it as impossible. If I only know the fictional you, the one I\'ve only heard about from the rumors that is......"

Shina gave him a gaze of trust that had never changed. However, such a gaze was painful for the current Nozomu.

"No matter what kind of power I have, it\'s meaningless if I can\'t use it when it matters the most......"

With a self-deprecating smile on his face, Nozomu muttered so to himself.

Heavy words accompanied by a sense of worthlessness and self-denial. It was his self-harming behavior that still continues, the screams of his heart that he felt he had to move on, but could not.

"Even at that time ...... If I had used it the first time we encountered that Abyss Grief, Tom wouldn\'t be injured in the first place, and you wouldn\'t be so reckless. I had the power that allowed me to do something about it, but I just chose not to do it ......"

"But in return, I get to see Raz again. If I were to see your power at that time, I am sure I would have blamed myself even more and would have been impatient. How could one person have that much power? I would think something like that ......"

That\'s why what you did is fine as it is ......

Shina\'s soothing voice gently swept Nozomu\'s dark, stagnant words away.

Then she turned around to face Nozomu and knelt down, gently put her hand on his cheek, and made him raise his face.

Eyes reminiscent of azure skies stared straight at him.

Straight gaze filled with affection and trust. Nozomu couldn\'t help but gasp as he became overwhelmed.

"That\'s why, no matter what you think of yourself, I will always be grateful to you. Thanks to you, I am able to spend my time with Mimuru, Tom, and Raz once again."

*Ba-dump* ....... A gentle ripple spread through Nozomu\'s heart, which had been as rough as a winter sea, and the heat on his cheeks subdued the turbulent rage that had been building up. Shina\'s face naturally came close to Nozomu\'s ...... and stopped.

(E-eh? What was I about to do just now?)

Suddenly, Shina\'s mind was riddled with question marks.

Upon realizing that they were staring at each other from a close distance, Shina\'s cheeks suddenly heated up.

(E-eh? Hang on a second. Eh?)

A sensation she has never experienced before permeated through her entire body. Her chest tightened, and a feeling of wanting to be closer to him rose up.

Combined with her own mindless actions, the surging desire made her whole body go numb.

"............?"

Nozomu\'s wondering gaze was directed at her as she stiffened.

(A~a, just look at his dumbfounded face-...... -that\'s not it! Don\'t tell me, I\'m-......)

Feelings she has never experienced before, mindless actions and desires. Shina was shocked at the answer given in front of her and swallowed her saliva.

"W-well. So, you know......."

(I\'m an elf, you know? And he\'s a human, you know? There\'s no way I could have such a feeling toward him......)

While her rational mind is expressing doubt, her instincts are appealing to her to be more honest and more aggressive.

Be closer, just a little bit more .......

A fiery beating heart. She unintentionally took a deep breath. And the breath she exhaled was surprisingly seductive.

In the midst of all this, Shina\'s heartfelt gratitude seeped into Nozomu\'s frozen heart.

"Because Iris believed in me ...... and seeing you overcome your past trauma, I made up my mind to face Lisa again. I decided to ask Ken about the truth ......"

Seeing the girl in front of him accepted him for who he was, he began to reveal his own heart to her.

And once he spoke up, his suppressed emotions overflowed like a broken dam.

"But then I messed up ......"

"Messed up?"

"It was Ken who spread that rumor and deceived me and Lisa. He conspired with Camilla to do it......"

Upon hearing Nozomu\'s confession, Shina quietly nodded, "I knew it ......", and urged him to go on.

"Aftar that, my mind went blank. And then ......."

"And then ......?"

"I released my ability suppression and almost killed the two of them and also Lisa, who came to intervene ......"

Almost killed them. Shina\'s eyes widen at these words. On the other hand, Nozomu looked down with a depressed expression on his face, remembering the time when he couldn\'t control his anger.

"Nozomu-kun......"

Nozomu\'s unexpected confession left her speechless, but just as she was about to open her mouth again to say something, a woman\'s voice came from behind the bushes.

"There you are ～～～～～!"

""Huh?""

Right after that, Anri came rushing out of the bushes and pounced on Nozomu with all her might.

"Bwah~!"

"Ah......!"

"Why did you suddenly disappear~~!? I was worried about you, you know~~! I\'ve been looking for you, you know~~!"

Nozomu, who was unable to take a proper defensive stance after being knocked sideways, hit the back of his head hard against the ground with his face buried in Anri\'s chest. Anri, on the other hand, pulled Nozomu\'s upper body up and began to wriggle around wildly while holding Nozomu\'s head in her hands.

Nozomu, who was wounded and exhausted, stiffened completely at the pain in the back of his head and the soft sensation on his face.

"Anri-sensei, please calm down! Anyway, get your hands off of him first......!"

Shina, who was stunned beside Nozomu, hurriedly pulled Anri away from him.

"*Cough-cough*...... thanks."

"No problem. Don\'t worry about it."

"...... Somehow, you two are kind of sweet. Is it youth?"

"I-It\'s not like that!"

Aside from Shina, who was still in a state of confusion inwardly, Nozomu was surprised to see Anri showed up. Because this place is quite far from the area where the Special Comprehensive Exercise was being held.

"Anri-sensei, how did you know I am here?"

"Nozomu-kun, you kept your exercise pendant with you, didn\'t you~~? Here~, this is designed to detect and react to a specific type of magic~~."

While saying so, Anri pulled out a strange device from her pocket.

A brass disc with a glass lid. There is a magic circle drawn inside it, and in the center is a pointy needle, which is pointing at the pendant that Nozomu is wearing.

"However, this item is still under development, so the accuracy is not quite perfect yet~~. That\'s why it took me a long time to find you~~. Or rather, how did Shina-san know that Nozomu-kun was here?"

"This is the place where we took shelter when we were attacked by a demonic beast before. Haven\'t you heard anything about it, Anri-sensei?"

"Is it about the Abyss Grief? I\'ve heard the gist of it from Inda-sensei~~. I see, so this is Nozomu-kun\'s master\'s house, then~~"

After putting the device back in her skirt pocket, Anri looked around with deep emotion. Nozomu, on the other hand, was surprised to hear Anri mentioned the existence of Shino.

"How do you know about shishō?"

"Hmm? Looking at your growth in katana-jutsu, I can tell that there must be someone teaching you~~."

Nozomu had never told Anri about Shino, but as expected of a teacher at Solminati Academy. Contrary to her usual flippant behavior, she seemed to have been aware of the existence of Nozomu\'s master.

I have to greet your master~~. Nozomu then told Anri, who was speaking in a carefree manner, that his master had already passed away.

"I see~~. That\'s a shame~~. A great swordsman from Mikagura school. As a Qi-jutsu practitioner, I wish I could have met your master~~."

"Great swordsman ....... Shishō is amazing, after all."

"Nozomu-kun, have you ever heard anything about your master~~?"

"I\'ve heard a little bit about her hometown. But Shishō was sick at that time, so I couldn\'t ask much about it ......"

At the time, Nozomu just wanted a place to escape to. Rather than the names and origins of the katana techniques he had been taught, his priority had been to learn as many techniques as possible.

The only time he truly got to know his master was just before their last training session. It was only a short time.

Even though he was able to accept her last words, there were times when he wished he could have talked with her more.

"Shishō said. Running away is fine. But don\'t turn away from the fact that I was running away ...... That\'s why I ......."

I tried to move on. But I failed.

The ear-splitting silence and clenched fists spoke volumes about Nozomu\'s regret.

A few seconds or maybe a few dozen seconds? Nozomu\'s whole body trembled with anger and disappointment, but then, as if the tide had receded, he relaxed and looked up with a somber expression on his face.

"And now I have made Iris and the others worried as well ......"

He felt a pang of guilt. But at the same time, he felt a little bit of joy.

"Nozomu-kun, are you sure your power is only releasing your ability suppression?"

"............"

"I see, I knew it......"

Shina\'s words, which carried a hint of surety, made Nozomu\'s heart beat even more violently.

"I want everyone to listen to it, to know about it. That\'s how I really feel. At the same time, however, I am afraid ......"

At the same time, her words encouraged him to spill a little bit of his inner thoughts.

I want to talk about the secrets I\'ve been carrying inside, and I want to be at ease.

That is Nozomu\'s genuine feeling.

But more than that desire to be freed, fear was binding his heart.

"This power has its own will. A will that would put everyone in danger. If this thing were to be unleashed without control, I ...... might kill everyone around me."

In fact, he almost killed his own childhood friend before ......

After saying these words, Nozomu fell silent once again.

Just like when he almost killed Lisa, he was afraid that he would lose his self-control and kill the people he cared about.

The fear was stronger now that he was freed from his loneliness, and it bound Nozomu\'s heart even tighter.

"Nozomu-kun, is it because of your master\'s last words that you decided to try again~~?"

In response to Anri\'s question, he nodded his head slightly.

"Let me ask you one more question. Nozomu-kun, your master said something important other than his last words, right~~?"

"Something important ......?"

"Try to remember, she must have conveyed something to you. She might not have put it into words, she might not have intended it~~. But I am sure that there must be something hidden in some way that Nozomu-kun needs to get over your current fears~~"

"Something that Shishō conveyed ......"

"You see, people\'s emotions tend to be expressed in a single word or expression, but they often have very complex feelings behind them. How was your master\'s appearance at the end of his life~~?"

Encouraged by Anri\'s words, Nozomu closed his eyes and recalled the last moment with his master.

What came to mind were Shino\'s last words, a promise not to turn away from the fact that he had been running away.

Having suffered from the sleeping-death syndrome, she reminisced about her past, then emitted a murderous intent and fighting spirit, and seriously swung her blade at him.

To make Nozomu aware of his own escapism.

She then confessed that she had sleeping-death syndrome .......

[Please, my last wish. Will you accept it?]

She was crying like a lost child.

"...... She looked so anxious. Whether or not I would properly accept her feelings."

"Un. I\'m sure I would feel the same way~. It takes courage to talk about one\'s painful past, no matter who you are~~"

Shina nodded at Anri\'s words and crossed her arms as if to hug herself.

"I know how that feels ....... Up until recently, it was hard for me to even think about my family and my hometown."

People are cowardly by nature, always hiding their true feelings.

It is especially difficult for those who have suffered a traumatic experience to reveal their innermost feelings. And if it were their own painful past that they did not want to recall, how much more painful would it be?

Shino, too, was a human being who had suffered a great deal of emotional trauma. It is not difficult to imagine how anxious she must have been to speak out about her true feelings, considering that she had abandoned her own country and gone into seclusion in such a remote forest.

"But, you were able to properly accept your master\'s feelings, weren\'t you?"

"...... Yes."

In order to respond to Shino\'s confession of her last moments and her past with tears, Nozomu released Tiamat\'s power for the first time and confronted that Dragon in the imaginary world. He was nearly killed, but succeeded in stealing some of Tiamat\'s power.

"And you, Nozomu-kun, were able to face your master because you wanted to accept her feelings, no~~? Irisdina and the others are most likely the same ......."

Anri concluded her sentence with a gentle smile.

Nozomu\'s clenched fist tightened even more. His trembling hands, downcast eyes, and bitten lips expressed the hesitation that still remained in his heart.

Shina walked around to the front of Nozomu and gently wrapped her own hands around his trembling hands. Once again, to encourage him.

"......A~"

"It\'s alright. You\'re a little hesitant right now, but once you\'ve met someone you care about, you should be able to do it again."

She stared at Nozomu with her clear and honest eyes, with her hair, which has a sense of purity unique to elves, fluttering in the air.

Eyes without a shred of hesitation. The warmth of her palm gently guided Nozomu\'s heart. Then, a small flame ignited in Nozomu\'s heart.

Although it was a feeble, flickering flame, it began to shine brightly in the darkness that nestled in Nozomu\'s heart.

"Shina-san......"

"You gave me the opportunity to face the people I care about. I am truly grateful for that. That\'s why I want to be your strength this time."

These words burst into Nozomu\'s heart, and the feeble flame in his chest turned red and shone brightly.

"Besides, I\'m sure she\'ll also...... be here soon."

At the same time as Shina turned around, the sound of rustling could be heard coming from behind the bushes.

"Iris, Mars ...... and even everyone."

Emerging from the bushes were Irisdina, and the others, with Mars in the lead.

End of Chapter 5.

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Heyoo~, PolterGlast here. Finally, as of today, Vol.3 for my Patreon members (especially Platinum members) has come to an end. When will Vol.4 come out? Based on the author\'s tweet, he has already finished the first draft of Vol.4 and is currently revising it. Here\'s his tweet If I had to make a guess, Vol.4 will likely come out in late 2023 or early-mid 2024. Time for me to look for other s. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me know.

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