46-Lesson03 You Are A Kind Child, Koi
As we left the base and began to move around, our place was moved to the kitchen of a land-based ship called the "Heavy Duty Branch". I\'m not that familiar with the old Imperial Japanese Navy\'s warships, but it looks like this kitchen is fully equipped with everything we need. Sugiura seemed to have been working up a good mood these days, preparing meals every day.
However, when she came to report it today, her voice lacked her usual energy. I couldn\'t see what expression was on his face as he looked down at me.
My name is Katsubushi Dashihiko. I was the former homeroom teacher for the second year and fourth class of Kamishiro City High School, and now I\'m Katsuobushi.
I don\'t mind you pointing your fingers and laughing at me, but I\'ll have to wait until next time to explain or excuse myself. As you can imagine, I\'m a bit overwhelmed right now.
The report I received was that one of my students, Washio Ryota, had died. Sugiura, who was not very close to Washio, was at a loss for words, as was Ms. Motono, who would never have spoken to him, who was at a loss for words.
It was the Red Wing, a group of "Red Winged Demons" who were vaguely known to be hostile to Washio. They are the Red Moon. He tried to explore the ruins of a former settlement in this mountainous area, and that\'s how he encountered them. Washio was used as a decoy to escape Soraki and Himemizu, and then he died.
A strong sense of helplessness and loss took over my body. It was nothing compared to when I found out that Koganei had been kidnapped. I was also unable to do anything to save Washio, unable to do anything about my student\'s crisis.
I just couldn\'t afford to block it up or rot like I did then. It was because I wasn\'t the only one who was having a hard time.
"Sugiura, are you okay?
When I called out to her, she looked up at me in surprise.
That\'s right. I\'m not the only one who has a hard time right now. I\'m dealing with the practicalities of a classmate\'s death. For a group of kids in Year 2 and 4, who are separated from me by more than 10 years in terms of life experience, this is extremely difficult to overcome on their own.
Those who have died do not return. There shouldn\'t be a student who doesn\'t know that fact, but I wonder how many of them really know what that means. However, for every one dead person, there are many living people. The survivors should be able to join hands and look forward. I believe that Sugiura and his friends need to be prepared for this.
I\'m sure they\'ll be able to do it. It\'s not okay. It\'s a little hard.
Sugiura\'s face, which smiled as she said that, was listless.
\'\'Sugiura-san........\'\'
Honno-san, who had a special bookshelf set up for her, also called out to me, looking concerned. I gave a small cough.
\'\'Yeah. It\'s hard. But you\'re not the only one who\'s having a hard time.
We\'re all having a hard time and you want me to be patient?
\'No, no, it\'s the other way around. We\'re all hard, so go talk to a lot of guys and share your pain with a lot of guys.
Blocking up and pondering would only make his feelings sink in.
Sugiura pondered with a difficult face. In the kitchen, on the cutting board, there were vegetables in the process of being cut up. While dinner was being prepared, the students were gathered together over the ship\'s broadcast, and then they learned of Washio\'s death. When he returned, Sugiura hadn\'t gotten around to cooking at all.
I didn\'t have the vocabulary to get Sugiura back on his feet here. Besides, discussing the dead with a close friend is much more comforting than listening to the entrenched opinions of one adult. That\'s what I\'m suggesting.
\'\'Yeah, okay.\'\'
Sugiura finally nodded in agreement.
\'I\'m going to go talk to Hanazono or something. Sorry, I may not be back for a while.
Don\'t worry about it.
Sugiura walks out of the kitchen with a lackluster gait. His octopus feet lack the usual bounce in his legs.
\'\'........You\'re in a difficult position, aren\'t you, Sensei?
Honno-san said in a gentle voice.
\'We\'re adults, you know. Being an adult can be hard.\'\'
You have to be cool, even when you\'re sad. That\'s what I learned from my students the other day.
In the quiet of the kitchen, I remembered Washio. Washio was on the basketball team. I\'d heard he was on the soccer team in junior high school, so he wasn\'t exactly the kind of person to devote himself to any one sport. In fact, he had a tendency to do everything for a long time and to lose focus.
Washio had come to me once for advice. He told me that he had a guy he really liked and he wanted to drop him. To be honest, I had only had one older girlfriend when I was a university student (I broke up with her half a year after I started working), so I wasn\'t very experienced in relationships, so I was very flinching. But I told him, as a grown-up, to do the right thing and show me how cool he is by working hard at one thing.
It was six months later that Washio won a regular spot on the basketball team. I heard he was rejected by the guy he wanted to be with.
And now Washio is dead. I could no longer hear his booming voice.
I was still feeling an indelible sense of loss.
A short time later, Sugiura returned. I couldn\'t say she had regained her energy, but she had regained some of her vitality in her smile.
Sugiura spoke with Hanazono and apparently decided to continue doing what they could. Hanazono said she would grow carrots, which Washio liked, and Sugiura said she would cook them. I guess it\'s their desire to make a memorial service for the dead. It\'s a good thing. I respect that.
I told Sugiura that if there were still students who were hurt and couldn\'t get over it, they should come to me. Well, in the end, Sugiura didn\'t have any students to bring to me. I missed him terribly.
That night, in addition to that, Ryuzaki brought an unexpected student to me.
It was Goubayashi. I was stunned. If I had a mouth, I would have opened it. After all, this guy was one of those students who hadn\'t been heard from since he disappeared a month ago. There was also Okama who went with him, but I heard that he got separated from him halfway through.
Gourin bowed to me and said, \'I\'m sorry for causing you worry. I\'m sorry to have caused you worry.
"Well, as long as you\'re fine, that\'s fine.
You look good, doctor.
"...how do I look at it...
From there, the conversation naturally shifted to the topic of Washio\'s death.
I heard that the students had decided to hold a funeral for Washio. This is a good thing, too. I think it\'s important to face death. I would have attended the funeral if I could, but I couldn\'t because I was a katsuobushi. After the funeral was over, they said they would bring the altar to the dining room, so I decided to offer my shavings to the altar.
\'Your shavings?
Gao Lin made a reluctant face.
\'\'Nah, what. It\'s not good? No, it\'s not bad. It\'s my shavings. It makes a good broth.
No...... I\'ve never heard of a bonito-flavored offering...
\'Well, I guess it\'s better around fruit after all........ Washio liked carrots.
Yeah, well...
Well, Gourin is the son of a temple. I\'m sure he knows more about this than I do. I\'ll just do what this guy says.
"Master Sheng Wai.
It seems that the reason Ryuzaki brought Gourin along with him was to give him a light greeting. After that, we dodged a few more conversations and Gourin left the kitchen. But as soon as he went out, he immediately turned his head back to me.
"Hmm, what\'s the matter?
From the teacher\'s point of view, what do you think of your current class?
It was a surprising question.
\'I don\'t have an eye for the doctor...\'
So it doesn\'t matter what you can feel. I can\'t help but feel some discomfort with this whole mass exodus thing.
Hmm....
It\'s rare that a guy from Gourin would ask me such direct questions. It was because he was a hands-off student who solved most of the questions in his own mind. This made him very popular with the teachers, but as a homeroom teacher he was a bit of a liability.
However, when this thoughtful boy (and I hesitate to use the word, but Gourin is a boy) has a question, it is often difficult to find an answer. I\'m a teacher, but I\'m frankly not that smart.
\'The dungeon we initially transitioned to was overstocked with supplies for life. That\'s not all. According to Ryuzaki, the main engine of this heavy duty branch school was also able to be excavated from the dungeon.
Is that too good to be true?
\'Yes. To be honest, it feels pretty contrived.
But what does that have to do with what I feel about class?
Thinking about it, I flopped up. No, there was no face. I felt my whole body move.
\'By any chance, Gourin, you\'re not going to tell me that one of your students is involved in this transference incident, are you?
It\'s just a possibility.
That said. I\'m stumped.
So Gourin asked me if I felt anything in class, but I\'ve been holed up in this kitchen ever since I moved to katsuobushi. It was impossible for me to see anything like that. All I know is how many suction cups are on Sugiura\'s octopus feet. I counted them because I was bored, but I didn\'t tell anyone because it might be s*xual harassment.
\'Anyway, Gourin, from my point of view, it doesn\'t look anything like that.
\'I see. I\'m sorry for the weird question.
After saying that much, Gourin left the kitchen. Sugiura came back to replace him with a large amount of carrots.
I\'m home! What\'s your name, Mr. Kobayashi?
We\'re talking about a student who might be involved in our transition case.
When I said that, Sugiura rolled his eyes.
\'Oh, really?\'
It\'s just a possibility. Hey, Motono-san.
\'Yeah, yeah. Well.....
Ms. Motono nodded a little hesitantly. I wonder if she was affected by the impact of Goubayashi.
\'Well, you know, Sugiura. If you have a student like that, bring him to me. He must be struggling alone.
Oh no, sir. Even if there was a girl like that, there\'s no way I\'d be able to find her.
That too, I suppose.
Hahahahaha, and a conciliatory laugh echoed through the kitchen.
However, it was only a few hours later that Sugiura brought such a student with him.
\'\'........Benii, can you say that again?\'\'
So,
Beni Asuka looked up as if she was a little flustered and said.
\'\'This transference incident is my fault!
Saying that, Beni scratched her head. Scratching such long hair in the kitchen would cause the hair to fall off and was not hygienic, but she didn\'t have the mental capacity to pay attention to it. Looking at Sugiura, she was indeed at a loss for words.
It was only after dinner that Sugiura brought Beni with her. For all intents and purposes, this guy stayed in the cafeteria after dinner, unusually alone and with a difficult look on his face. Normally, Sugiura would only be watching from afar, but this time was different. I said, \'If there\'s a student who\'s having trouble with something, bring him to me! I brought her halfway into the kitchen, which she didn\'t want to do, partly because I said so.
As soon as she entered the kitchen, Beni was immensely disappointed to see Katsuobushi (i.e. me) speaking the language, but as soon as Sugiura introduced me to her, her eyes turned cold and she sniffed, \'Hmmm\'. Even if the other person was a teacher, the condescending look wouldn\'t change. Beni Asuka is a genuine queen.
Of course, just because she is, doesn\'t mean I\'m going to change my attitude either. Many teachers would have flinched at the high school girl\'s mature scent of 17 years old, and many would have flinched at the high-handed posture that oozed out of her silence and looked at her face, but not me.
But the words that came out of my mouth were words, so I was a little surprised, too.
I didn\'t think it was really what Gourin had said.
\'\'........So?\'\'
Beni crossed his arms and said in a cold voice.
\'You said to talk to you if there was anything that was troubling you, so I did?
\'Oh no.... Mm.
I choked on my words, but quickly cleared my throat.
\'Sugiura, can you take Honno-san out for a bit?\'
I will. Let me know if you need anything.
Sugiura quickly leaves the kitchen with Honno-san in his arms, leaving me and Benii alone inside.
A beautiful girl glares with cold eyes glaring at a giant bonefish that looks like a wooden sword. It\'s a surreal scene, and I\'m not sure if it\'s picturesque or not.
\'Beni, you said you told me what was troubling you. Is that transference incident the thing that\'s troubling you?
I\'m sure.
Looking at his own nails, Benii replies.
\'\'It doesn\'t feel so good to be silent while winding up,\'\'
None of the words that come out of her mouth are easy to believe. After all, she is a born vampire, and it seems that she was unable to live in her original world, so she laid out a plan to transfer to another world, and since she was still worried about her strength, she tried to turn her students into monsters and incorporate them into her army.
This way, it doesn\'t make sense. As a person who has been reincarnated as a bonefish, I\'d like to ask if he really intended to use them as a fighting force.
I\'m not going to be able to say that the sensation is an irregularity, but it doesn\'t matter in the plan. It doesn\'t seem to have mattered in the plan.
So that\'s what I thought. I\'m a little bit depressed.
"So,
Beni continued.
\'Washio is dead, isn\'t he?\'
At that moment, the air in the kitchen changes to a slightly gloomy one.
"I used to hate that kind of bossy person. But a guy who had nothing to do with it all got involved because of me and died as a result.
Her narrative was, as usual, bland and cold. She had a high-handed way of speaking, devoid of emotion. This is how the girl named Beni Asuka always talks.
But the content of what she was saying was different from the usual. There was a glimpse of weakness in the heart that only the ones who kept pushing themselves too hard could slightly ooze.
\'I see, huh?\'
I said that in my words, but honestly, I was a mess.
As a teacher, I was at least thinking about encouraging a student who was depressed. If Nekomiya, for example, thought it was his fault that Washio was dead, then as a teacher, I was going to be able to say something to him to help him get back on his feet. But this confession is unexpected. It\'s too heavy.
But at the same time, the fact that Benii was suffering in front of me right now made me feel uncomfortable. The queen of Class 4 of the second grade, who makes adults tremble, can also show weaknesses like this.
I\'m sure Beni doesn\'t trust me as a teacher. Probably the reason why I was a katsuobushi is because I was a katsuobushi, which was the reason why he revealed his true feelings to me here in a whisper. Maybe I\'m in a state of mind where I\'m mumbling to myself on the wall.
\'I\'ve told Sachi.
Sakuma Nikaka.
Yeah. He came over to me. I said it.
Sakuma wouldn\'t have been offended.
Yeah.
I suddenly had a question here. Why would Benii be silent in the first place?
Why was he not willing to tell his classmates the truth?
When I asked him about it, Beni said, \'What? He returned with another irritated reply.
\'How could I tell you? It\'s my fault we\'re all in this mess.
Are you afraid that your class won\'t like you?
It\'s not like that.
You\'re lying. I had a gut feeling. Beni is inherently afraid of being isolated.
"...or a classmate...
Beni connected the words as if I hadn\'t said anything, but went straight to making an excuse.
\'I only think of you as a tool, nothing more than a tool, to serve a purpose.
That\'s what you call it, Beni. It\'s called pseudo-hypocrisy.
When I say this, Beni glares at me with a snap.
\'This is exactly what it means to fall to talk. If you keep your mouth shut, they won\'t think you mean it, and you\'ve been doing it all this time.
...Shut up. It\'s a katsuobushi habit.
You\'re the one who wears a long strip of kudzu on your bonito.
I finally understood why Benii was more irritated than usual.
Beni had said that his classmates were "tools to accomplish a goal. This is not his true intentions, but it\'s a phrase that comes from the fact that there are times when you have to think that way. This guy is using his classmates to achieve his goals.
But surely in his heart, he has a kind of sense of belonging to the class. It\'s not limited to close students like Sakuma and Okama. Beni is unable to be ruthless towards his classmates, including his cronies such as Harui and Snakezuka, whom he did not have any feelings for in the beginning.
The gap between that fact and his true feelings is what is irritating Benii right now. In this way, it\'s clear that she\'s a pretty cute girl for her age.
Yes, Benii Asuka is a kind girl.
Well, who wouldn\'t be kind to my pretty student!
"Looks like it\'s time for me to get out of the way here, Beni.
Oh, my God.
"Sugiura, cut me down!
When I shouted, Benii\'s shoulders shook with a jolt.
\'\'Alright!\'\'
Sugiura jumps into the kitchen with a big smile on his face. This guy has been waiting for his chance all along.
Sugiura picked up the planer he bought in the bazaar in King\'s Landing and hooked it on my body.
With a grinding sound, a piece of plane is shaved off from my body.
\'Guaaaaaah!
Oh, my God. What are you doing?
Beni made a sound like he was donning. No, he might actually be donning.
Of course he did. It\'s a familiar scene for us, but the homeroom teacher (katsuobushi) suddenly shouted to shave his own body, and the students did it with joy.
Sugiura threw my shavings into the pot, took the broth and scooped it into a bowl and handed it to Benii.
Beni-san, drink this. It\'s the broth from your teacher.
Oh, no...
I was rather dumbfounded, and therefore the words, which I could tell came from the heart, hurt me to the core.
"Dashi," he said, "is just like the sweat that seeps out of the bath...
\'And it\'s scraped off, so it\'s like a solid.
Even Honno-san, who had been silent until then, said something unnecessary.
\'Just drink it! You\'re not going to get anywhere without a drink!
Then I drank. It\'s very nice. Okay, you can finish.
Beni is frowning with all his might. It\'s a different kind of frustration, a natural emotion. I was glad as a teacher that Benii, who always pushes his feelings underneath his iron skin, showed such a thing, but it was sad as a katsuobushi that it was my disgust for my dashi.
\'Yeah, um, okay! Look, Benii, I think you\'re a good-hearted kid.
Yeah, yeah. Thanks, sir.
d*mn, that\'s not very responsive!
Oh, you know what? If you\'re sorry for getting the class involved, just bow down and apologize.... You\'re a good-hearted girl, so, well, you know, you\'re a....... I\'m sure that everyone.......will forgive you................................and Sakuma has forgiven you too, right? ...?
I gradually lost confidence in myself. Ms. Motono opened the page and saw the words "Hang in there! Good luck! And it was written. So what\'s that all about?
Beni crossed his arms for a while. His expression had returned to his usual cold one.
\'\'........That\'s it?\'\'
That\'s all there is to it!
I don\'t know.... It doesn\'t resonate with me at all...
Glancing over to the bowl Sugiura was holding, Beni glanced at the bowl.
\'I have no idea what kind of idea you had in mind to connect from that dashi to that story.
Hmmm, as expected of a class queen, she\'s tough.
So my education policy, which left it up to the momentum and the deliciousness of the dashi, had its own limits.......
As I was overwhelmed by my own helplessness, Benai suddenly gave a small smile.
It was a natural smile, as if the tension in my heart had melted away.
\'Well, okay. Sensai.
\'Seriously? Now you know!
Don\'t you try to make me understand?
Beni instantly looks dumbfounded. I didn\'t know that this girl had such a variety of faces. I was reminded of the fact that despite being the homeroom teacher, I didn\'t know Benii Asuka, attendance number one, at all. She wasn\'t just a girl who looked down on adults with a cold look in her eyes.
\'Me too, I probably knew what I was going to have to do now,\'
Beni unclasped her hands and said.
\'There\'s no way I can keep quiet forever, and if I drag it out on the sly, I\'m not going to be able to say more and more, and I\'ve always thought that it\'s time for the last line to be told, but I just couldn\'t take the plunge. I\'ve been thinking about it since I told Sachi about it.
\'You mean I made that last push...\'
That\'s impossible.
He told me once and for all. \'It hurts.
\'But I will. I\'ll say it and I\'m sorry.
Well....
After all, for Benii, this time was probably not much different than mumbling to himself against a wall. He wanted just enough time to convince himself of the conclusions that had been settled in his mind. Unlike a lot of other students, Beni was a child who didn\'t need the pompous advice of an adult.
But that\'s okay. Even in my position as a teacher, I\'m not so smug as to think that I can easily change a student\'s mind with my words. Besides, just being able to see Benii\'s various faces was worth the time for me.
Beni took the bowl from Sugiura\'s hand and popped the contents in one go.
\'\'Ah.\'\'
\'Oh....\'
Me and Sugiura speak at the same time.
\'I\'ve been sucking people\'s blood since I was a kid, so when I think about it, I don\'t really care about sweat or anything.\'
I put the empty bowl in the sink with a coterie.
\'But it didn\'t taste so good.
Yeah, well...
Well, I\'m just saying. Thanks, Sens.
With that, Beni left the kitchen. His steps were lighter than when he came in, and the irritation was gone from his back.
\'\'Beni-san, you\'ve been sucking blood since you were a child?\'\'
Sugiura mumbles to himself as he washes his bowl.
I guess our world is bigger than I thought.
\'Well......... Real vampires, that\'s awesome! I would have loved to hear more from you!
Ms. Motono was also very excited, but I was still heartbroken by the one word that Benii had said to me, and I was unable to recover.
Later, at the funeral, Benii apparently confessed everything to the class.
Although Benii had kept the situation quiet until now, there were certainly some students who rebelled against him. In particular, Hakuba, who was a close friend of Washio\'s, is said to have been ready to take a bite out of her. Even so, Benii bowed to her classmates honestly, and thanks to the follow-up of Ryuzaki and Gourin, she was able to keep her horns to herself.
Beni provided the class with a variety of information, which had a great impact on their new behavioral guidelines and ability management. After all, it would mean that the things she had been worried about were unfounded.
Well, that was good.
It was good to hear that.
\'\'Whoa! Sugiura, more! Cut me down some more!
Yes, I\'m still...? I\'m tired of my hands...
My screams echoed through the kitchen. Sugiura was grinding me and throwing it into the pot at various heat levels.
Beni\'s last word, \'It wasn\'t very good,\' leaked a deep scar on my heart. I couldn\'t let it go on like this. I must learn to get more and more delicious dashi broth. I grew mold all over my body (high quality bonito flakes have mold at the end of the production process) and Sugiura and I studied how to make a better dashi broth.
Someday I have to make that sultry face of his say, "It\'s delicious.
The sensual deliciousness that bubbles up from the bottom of my heart should make my mind and body trot out.
I understand that this is about the worst spirit for a teacher, but I was still burning with a sense of duty as a bonito flute.