Chapter 168: Love or Hate - Part【3】
"Phobos please," I whine unashamedly meeting each assertive thrust of his pelvis halfway as he vigorously humps me whilst I reveal to him my longing to be gobbled up. I am offering him everything but he refuses to just take it.
"What have I told you about begging, Theia?" His grasp around my neck tightens and I dig my nails deeper into the wood carving it out as his right palm settles over my ass cheek. Yes, spank me Phobos and grant me that delicious mix of pain and pleasure.
"That it excites you. Why do you think I am begging you right now?" I whisper chewing on my lower lip as my cheeks crimson to the truth I deliver without a tinge of shyness. I have never been so frank about my needs to him before.
Phobos groans as though he is undergoing unendurable torture to my words and he coats his fingers with my nectar only to unhurriedly glide down from my swollen clit to my moist pussy lips until he stops at my tight entrance that is wailing to be fed by his massive cock.
"You want this?" He grits out huskily as I shove my cunt further towards his fingers demanding more friction and delight.
"Yes. Feed me." I mewl erotically when he gently pinches my little bundle of nerves. I want my breasts fondled, my nipples sucked, my mate mark bit for they will aid in a speedy release but he is doing nothing which is cruelly heightening my sexual frustration. He is being exceedingly reluctant which is so unlike him.
My male takes a curt step rearward putting a chilly distance between us and hastily yanks down my skirt shrouding my stripped quivering flesh from his ravenous eyes. I spin around with a deep frown amid my brows in question as he tightens the towel around his waist that was so close to slipping down and showing me a mouthwatering sight. "Why did you stop?"
"Because I told you that I would never touch you that way again or punish you with my body."
"And I told you that you cannot make such decisions without my approval."
"I am merely respecting you as my Luna and as Tadeas\'s mother."
"You lie. Do not lie to me, I detest it. Tell me the truth! You are avoiding me, Phobos. You are evading any sort of physical connection with me. We reunited six months ago and we have not shared a single kiss or even made love once.
You have not kissed me for six months do you not see the wrong in this?"
My moon blessed stands still for a few seconds speechlessly registering my words with a tilted head and strides to me with his eyes glued to my yearning lips as he reaches for me with purpose. Setting the knuckle of his forefinger beneath my chin he raises my head skyward and tenderly presses his desirable lips against mine.
Prickling tears of heartache are brisk to brim in my eyes as our lips mould together to become one but it is lacking so many things and that sensation of voidness ruthlessly stabs into my organ.
I do not feel the ardent passion we once harboured that I felt boastful of, the love we have for the other or even the adoration he claimed he feels only for me. I feel nothing as though I am kissing an emotionless wall. I fear this male feels nothing for me anymore and it tears me apart from within.
"I will make love to you as many times as you want." He mutters into my mouth and I pull away from him with a wobbly shake of my head whilst shoving my palms against his chest. Noticing that I wish to be free from his hold he lets me go without objection. I do not recognize this male of mine anymore.
"I do not want you to kiss me because I ask for it. I do not want you to make love to me because I desire it. I want you to do them because you wan-" I stop myself before I can continue expressing my thoughts. I am terrified of what he will state in return for my words. What if he says that he loves me as his female but has lost all interest in my body? What if this is because I bore Tadeas?
My body is not the same anymore I admit I have stretch marks that surround my belly accompanied by saggy skin. It has been merely six months since my delivery and it is gradually healing but what if my changes bring forth a sense of distaste within him?
Phobos snares my jaw and forces me to meet his searching gaze. "Are you unsettled with me?" His voice is uncertain yet also slightly nervous. "Theia you know I cannot read your emotions, I need you to communicate to me what you feel for otherwise, I will not know."
"I am all right." I smile lovingly up at him as I nuzzle into his warm throat that bobs at my intimate gesture whilst I inhale his intoxicating musky scent that alleviates the tension and unhappiness I feel replacing them with pure love and peace.
"Are you certain?"
"Yes. I am, do not worry. Can we return to the topic of Alpha Giovanni and his pack?"
"No. I will speak of it no more with you." That is all he declares whilst shifting away from me and stepping into his bedroom. Though my male has returned from the wilderness to live in the cabin with Tadeas and me, we seldom share my bed together as we did before.