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Chapter 204 - You Know What I Mean



"You're making me crazy, Pan An. What the hell are you doing to me that's making me act out of character?"

Pan An couldn't help but smirk. With his eyes drifting to Shu Xian's lips, he pulled her further towards him, Shu Xian gasping as she felt something hard against her groin.

"Pan An," she said with a slight panic etched in her voice. "What is this?"

"You mean…" Pan An feigned ignorance, further pulling her close so she could feel him. "My desire for you?"

Shu Xian knew that she actually wasn't that innocent. However, it was still her first time to experience such a thing, making her blink her eyes at him in disbelief as her comment in a form of a mumble made him laugh.

"It's hard and—"

"Hard and what?" Pan An interrupted, Shu Xian's face having a soft flush of pink.

"N-Never mind," she stammered, obviously embarrassed with what she impulsively had said.

"Anyway, we have to go. The first bell will ring soon and—"

Pan An kissed her again. It was different compared to the kiss that they shared a moment ago—this time more demanding and more possessive.

Pan An's tongue brushed against the line of Shu Xian's lip, Shu Xian letting out a small mewl of satisfaction as she closed her eyes and opened her mouth for his entry.

She knew that it was wrong for them to do such an action in the university even and with the bell almost ringing. She was nervous that they might get caught considering that the time of the first lesson is already at its end.

Students would usually roam around the hallways of the university before they would start the next lesson because they would be waiting outside until the first class will be dismissed.

With this in thought, suddenly, nervousness washed over her dazed state, Shu Xian snapping open her eyes to look at him. They broke away from the kiss, however, Pan An's head resting on the crook of her neck and started kissing her skin.

"Pan An," Shu Xian said his name in a form of a scowl. "If you don't stop now, I'd be having to kick your balls beyond recognition."

He couldn't help but laugh aloud when he heard her statement. With him already releasing her from his hold, Shu Xian narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Tempting as it is, we have to stop what we are doing right now or else we'll get caught! Students may be walking about outside of this room and if they see me and you together—especially your students whom you told that we'd be going to the library when you lied at them… it will raise suspicions."

Pan An nodded at her, his grin never leaving his face. It was because of this expression that Shu Xian arched a brow at him, feeling that Pan An is mocking her because of how he agreed to her with enthusiasm.

"Anyway," Shu Xian just said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I'd be going out first and will be going to the library for a quick visit so as to not look suspicious because of the alibi that you gave. And then, you'd follow after. You have to borrow books."

"Yes, yes," Pan An agreed, still nodding like a disciple in front of his master. "Your wish is my command."

Shu Xian just playfully rolled her eyes at him. Without saying a word, she already left, Pan An following in tow.

From the back, Pan An watched the student in front of him walk with elegance, his smile not leaving his face as he was also relieved that the moment they left the empty classroom, not a single student was found in the corridors.

"Professor Pan An," Shu Xian called out, snapping Pan An from his thoughts when he remembered that Shu Xian is now formal because they were already out in the open as a professor and a student. "May I ask why that damned woman is here?"

Pan An didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was so formal at first and now she was cursing under her breath about the arrival of Ruo Xi.

Pan An at first did not like how one would address to his past lover in such words. However now, he realized that he was not bothered by it—surprised by the fact that he actually liked Shu Xian talking bad about her now because it would show him how she is interested in him.

"Why are you asking?" Pan An asked, a teasing tone in his voice.

Shu Xian just turned her head to look at him as they walked. With her narrowing her eyes at him, she just let out a scoff but still, she answered his query.

"I was just wondering why a woman whom people thought had left the country, suddenly came back here as if nothing had happened. Your mother clearly warned me about her and had even asked me to make you forget about her. I was worried and—"

"You were what?" Pan An asked, still smiling mischievously as he liked the idea of the latter part—her worried.

"I mean—" Shu Xian started and cleared her throat, noticing that she was speaking nonstop and every time she did so, she was frustrated or rather nervous. "—I thought that my fears were going to happen."

Though this time, she is absolutely frustrated because she didn't like how the woman was acting coyly towards the man whom she started getting attracted to.

So, this is what jealousy felt like. It was something bothersome because she never felt jealous about anything or anyone. But this… it certainly makes one question about himself or herself.

She had to admit that she almost lost her confidence a moment ago—seeing how pretty she was, blessed even with a voluptuous body!

She was about to cry and she remembered how she was about to break down upon the sight of her being in front of Professor Pan An.

She wanted to walk out from that room to calm herself down, but alas, the professor had followed her which she hadn't expected at all!

Shu Xian even thought of the worst-case scenario. She thought that Pan An would tell her that upon seeing Ruo Xi, he had not forgotten about her.

It was crazy that Shu Xian even thought of that and had brushed aside what they had shared during her birthday yesterday, their sweet moments at the eve of her special day.

Shu Xian right now found herself ridiculous! But with Pan An reassuring her of his feelings towards her despite them only starting to fall for each other, she was now certain of what is about to come and that she had nothing to worry about.

Heck, she was so happy that she might even give Cai Li a call—updating her that what they had talked about during her visit could happen!

She was right that she knew her son all along, and she was right that Shu Xian had the capability to get her son's attention.

Right here and then, she felt confidence brimming from within her, radiating in a powerful glow that even Pan An could sense.

He didn't know why, but he nodded approvingly, shoving aside their conversation for a while as they walked towards the library, surprising Shu Xian with his comment.

"You know, you're more charming than ever."

Another blush swept Shu Xian's face. With Pan An's lips curling into a hot, lopsided smile, Shu Xian got a glimpse of it from the corner of her eye.

'This professor,' she thought to herself, forcing herself not to swoon. 'He's smugger more than ever, but not that I'm complaining—he has all the right to and I don't even mind it!'

With Shu Xian not giving a reply to what he said, Pan An redirected their conversation, remembering what she had told him last time.

"You said you were afraid that the one you feared is going to happen. And what is that?"

Shu Xian looked at him again, their eyes locked as they continued walking towards the library.

"You know what I mean," she said almost silently, now avoiding his gaze as she was embarrassed of saying the latter part of her sentence. "I know how much Ruo Xi had affected you so. You even called her name the time you were drunk and you were always angry when people badmouthed her."

Pan An didn't know what to say. He hated to admit it, but she was right. With a sigh escaping his lips, he just shook his head and spoke in all seriousness, hoping that his words may give light to her dark suspicions.

"That was before I met you."

"Wrong," Shu Xian interjected, a cunning smile appearing on her face as she focused her sight on the path before them since they're walking down the stairs. "That was also during the time you met me."

And she was right again. With them already near the library, both of them silenced as they no longer knew how to continue this conversation without having to feel awkward.


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