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Chapter 417: Decision and Indecision

It was, in Valeria’s mind, a strange mystery. Why were the giants so willing to follow Leon? It seemed so strange, so illogical, that after thousands of years fighting against the Bull Kingdom, they would suddenly capitulate to the first Valeman they encountered who gave them a good fight—at least, that’s how it was explained to her.

The truth, she suspected, was much more complicated than that, even if she could understand forming a bond with someone after a good fight.

The spectacle of seeing the giants reproduce only added to Valeria’s suspicions, though. No matter how much she wanted to trust Leon, no matter how much she pushed those thoughts out of her head, they kept coming back, and each time they were harder to ignore.

There was just something there that she was missing, whether on purpose or not, and the longer she ignored it, the louder it became.

Following the giants’ reproduction ritual or whatever it was, Leon, Alix, and Valeria stuck around for a little bit longer, just watching. However, the giants did nothing else, and so the three eventually returned to the guest room to relax and prepare for the return journey. However, as Leon and Alix settled in for an early night, Valeria found herself tossing and turning in her tent. She just couldn’t shake the notion that there was something wrong here, and she had to find out what it was.

After a couple hours of restlessness, Valeria eventually rose from her bedroll and left her tent. She needed to get some air, and she was more than certain at this point that the crater was safe, so there was no need to wake the others. It was easy enough to see that Leon was fast asleep with Anzu curled up next to him, protectively covering most of the young man with a wing. The sight alone brought a smile to Valeria’s normally stoic face, despite her current mood. A quick glance and a moment taken to listen showed that Alix was similarly out in her tent.

Valeria took one last look at Leon before she made for the door and slipped out into the massive hall as quietly as she could.

Outside, the sight of hundreds of unmoving stone giants sent tremors of fear and anxiety running through her, and she couldn’t help but doubt her conviction that the crater was safe. However, it wasn’t enough to get her to turn around, and she began to hesitantly walk down the hall toward the door leading back out into the crater. She needed some air, and she hadn’t yet been convinced to turn back around.

She made it to the door unscathed; in fact, none of the giants so much as twitched, and over the long walk, she calmed down significantly.

Once outside, she found herself completely alone. There were no giants outside; it seemed they were all still inside Rakos’ hall for their reproduction rituals.

Valeria began to absent-mindedly walk along the edge of the basalt maze, thinking over everything she’d seen during the past day. Lightning. Inexplicable loyalty. Leon. His father was killed by Adrianos.

She knew what all of that could mean if put together in a certain way, but she refused to do so. If she did, it could make Leon her enemy—or at least the target of her family. Valeria knew why they were here on Aeterna. To get her mother back, Lord Kamran had sent Justin and his small family to kill the child of one of his enemies. There could be no returning to the Nexus until that happened.

‘No…’

As Valeria continued to walk, she found herself moving away from the maze and toward the stairs and ramps leading up to the platforms and walkways along the crater walls.

‘On this plane, why would beings of elemental lightning submit themselves completely to a northern barbarian?’ the logical side of her wanted to know. ‘If Leon is a descendant of House Raime, of the Thunderbird, then that could explain it…’

Again, Valeria dismissed the possibility as quickly as she could. However, this time, it simply wouldn’t go away. The thought lingered in her mind, elevating her heart rate and causing her to begin to sweat in anxiety.

By the time she reached the lowest platforms, she had all-but convinced herself that Leon was exactly the person that her father had been sent to Aeterna to kill. The last shred of doubt in her mind vanished when she glanced out at the pile of rubble in the center of the crater. Her fourth-tier eyes were more than enough for her to see the remains of the Cradle, including a few statues of raptors, which now that she was thinking about it, were unmistakably depicting the Thunderbird.

Everything just fell into place, and now that it had, it all seemed so painfully obvious.

The only question now was what would she do about it, aside from confronting Leon. She knew for a fact that she’d be unable to kill him in a straight fight, and neither did she think she’d be able to kill him in his sleep. Even with her suspicion, she didn’t even think she’d be able to kill him at all.

Her father was also still missing. Had he still been around, she would’ve had the option to consult with him—not that she would’ve taken it. And the more she thought about it, she remembered a few times when Justin had asked her a few leading questions about Leon.

‘Did he know?!’ Valeria angrily wondered. ‘Where are you, Father? Why did you leave?!’

Her legs felt weak and it was all she could do to not collapse in despair. She’d never met her mother, her father was gone, and she’d lost her position in the Royal Guard. Despite Adrianos killing his father, Leon—and Elise—had offered a purpose and a place in their home when she most needed it.

She couldn’t kill Leon. She could barely even fathom making the attempt, let alone following through with it.

Valeria stood on that platform for what felt like days, staring out at the ruins of the Cradle, wondering why she felt that way. She’d never really considered it before, and up until now, she hadn’t realized just how strong her feelings were. Until now, she was also content to live with her feelings and not do anything with them.

But now, with what she knew in her heart to be true, that Leon Ursus was actually Leon Raime, she had to confront herself over these feelings.

Valeria was a martially-minded woman. She loved to fight and to spar; for her, she was never truly relaxed without a weapon in hand and magic coursing through her veins. In that respect, it was easy for her to see why she liked Leon: his swordplay was mesmerizing, his bow rarely missed, and his power was intense. There were almost no wasted movements in his fighting style, and it was clear to her that he cared a great deal about his skills in battle.

Her feelings went deeper than that, though, for Valeria was noble and had grown up around people who could be described in much the same way. However, most of those people didn’t have Leon’s humility, and fewer still had the same passion for anything that he did for his other work. She had seen him at work in his enchanting workshop, and if anything, the sight of him scribbling runes onto a sheet of paper was even more enchanting to her than seeing him train with blade in hand.

No, she couldn’t kill him, and she let loose with a deep sigh as she came to terms with that fact. And she couldn’t tell her father, either, even if he were still available for her to tell.

The only thing she had left to figure out was if she should confront him about her knowledge—or rather, if she were being charitable, her suspicion.

‘Not yet…’ she thought to herself. She wanted to enjoy what little they had for a while longer. When she did confront him, she knew that everything would change. She couldn’t kill him, but she couldn’t say if he felt the same way about her…

—

When morning came, the stone giants had barely moved. It was explained to them that the entire reproduction period for stone giants could last for months, and even though they were well into it, they were likely not even close to being finished. Leon couldn’t wait, though, but neither could he ask the giants to drop what they were doing to march off to war. He got the feeling that Rakos would probably agree if he were to ask them to do so, but still, it wasn’t something he was comfortable doing.

In the end, he led his group back west with what could be spared; one hundred stone giants ranging from fifth to the sixth-tier were at his back, including Lapis. In fact, Leon had already made sure that Lapis was known as their commander. Their force of one hundred stone giants had gotten quite a few nervous and terrified looks from the villages and towns they passed—especially in Aventino, but Marquis Aeneas had issued the requisite orders so that they wouldn’t be stopped by the guards—not once did violence break out.

Throughout the journey back west, though, he caught Valeria giving him strange looks when she thought he wasn’t paying any attention to her. Few of those looks were ever the same; some were apprehensive while some were downright fearful. On the other hand, sometimes she looked at him with a kind of passion that reminded him strongly of Elise when she wanted to drag him to bed, while other times Valeria seemed far more thoughtful.

Leon honestly had no idea what to make of this other than that things were probably coming together in her head. She wasn’t stupid, he knew that, and seeing the giants using some kind of lightning magic undoubtedly tipped her off to some things that Leon didn’t quite want her to know just yet.

On the other hand, the possibility that she had found out wasn’t entirely terrible to him, and one that a part of him hoped had happened. He didn’t know how to deal with her, so if she made the decision first, then it would make his job easier.

That, too, carried heavy risks, but if he weren’t willing to take those risks, he never would’ve brought Valeria to the crater in the first place.

‘At least she doesn’t seem violent…’ Leon thought to himself after musing over her unusual behavior. He was ready for her to try and kill him, and he was surprised and rather happy when she never once made the attempt.

So, for days he endured these looks as he tried to figure out a way to address them in a way that wouldn’t seem threatening or particularly suspicious. Eventually, when they were still about a day or so from Ironford, Leon decided to just ask her what was bothering her and see if he could clear up any ambiguity.

“Hey…” Leon awkwardly said as he fell back a bit from the front of their marching column. Valeria had been walking directly behind him, with Anzu and Alix behind her, then Lapis and the rest of the giants behind them.

“Hey,” Valeria replied with her standard neutral tone and stoic expression. She seemed so normal that Leon almost decided to just stop right there and chalk up the strange looks as his imagination, and he just barely managed to force himself to press on.

“I, uh, couldn’t help but notice something,” he said as he looked everywhere except at Valeria.

‘By my Ancestors, I’m terrible at this…’ he thought, mentally scolding himself for his awkwardness.

“What did you notice?” she politely asked.

“You’ve been looking at me strangely since the crater,” he explained, finally glancing up to look her in the eye for a split second before averting his gaze again. “I just wanted to check in with you since you seem… I don’t know… more distant than usual?”

“Do you think I’m distant?” Valeria unexpectedly asked, flashing Leon a quick smile that surprised him so much he almost tripped over his own feet.

Silently swearing at himself for his reaction and trying not to listen to Xaphan’s sudden raucous laughter in his soul realm, he said, “I suppose. Maybe distant isn’t the right word… how about ‘composed’, or ‘dignified’?” Valeria’s smile grew a bit wider. “Whatever, you seem a bit out of sorts. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Leon,” she whispered.

“… Right,” he responded. “Well, if you need to talk about anything, don’t be afraid to speak up…”

“I won’t be,” Valeria responded. The two stared at each other as they walked for a little bit longer until Leon finally felt too awkward about the whole affair and sped back up to walk at the front of the column again.

‘I hate this…’ he thought. ‘I should just confront her first, and do it soon, before she gains more power. But if she is still in contact with Justin, then that could backfire terribly… She could easily bring in reinforcements…’

Wracked with indecisiveness, Leon couldn’t come to a conclusion that he felt satisfied with, and above all, wished that he hadn’t brought Valeria to the crater in the first place. Or accepted her as his knight. Or met her at all. A big part of him liked her, and that was what brought out his indecision, and he just wanted to forget about all of it.

But a bigger part of him demanded answers and bloody vengeance for his father’s murder, and as he grew in power, it was growing more insistent. These two parts of him weren’t quite at war in his head, yet, but he felt like the longer he was in contact with Valeria, the more intense that conflict was going to become.

He sighed as he realized that, despite needing to come to a proper, final decision about where he and Valeria stood, it would not be made on this day. But putting all of that behind him—at least for the time being—wasn’t nearly so easy, for the demon within him was still laughing like a madman.

[Find that funny, did you?] Leon asked Xaphan.

In between gasps for air, Xaphan replied, [Ah… yes… that was… amazing!]

[Good. That’s what I’m here for, I suppose, to entertain you,] Leon said sarcastically.

[Oh don’t be like that, boy. You did fine. In your own way, of course. Could someone else have done it better? Of course, but you’re not them. Do what you can and deal with what you can’t.]

[Huh… that almost sounded… deep!] Leon cried in faux-surprise. [Are you doing all right, Xaphan? Because making crude comments and talking big to mask your fragile ego is more your speed…]

[I am old and wise, young human. So, you should listen to me in all things. Everything I say has a purpose, whether you’re smart enough to see it or not.]

[Uh huh. Sure. So that light enchantment that does nothing but change colors was part of some grand purpose?]

[Yes!]

[Really?]

[Obviously. Ugh, it’s painful how much of this is flying over your pitiful human head.]

[How about this then, demon? Oh, great and mighty Xaphan, Lord of Flame and demon among demons! Enlighten this young and foolish human who could not see what was so obviously paraded before him!] Leon’s words dripped with sarcasm and mockery, but Xaphan didn’t mind. He already had his answer ready, and it came immediately.

[The purpose was for my amusement. No greater purpose can there be than to entertain me.]

Leon groaned, and the two bickered good-naturedly for a little while longer. For what it was, Leon actually enjoyed it. He knew that as soon as he and the group returned to Ironford, it would be back to war, and it was good to get in these moments when he could.

Especially when they distracted him from his more personal issues.