屁屁影院入口

Chapter 516: God of Slaughter, Asura

As an experiment, Minhyuk used his Create a Recipe skill on Velach.

‘Grilled ogre tendon? What the…’

Minhyuk’s face crumpled after seeing just how different the taste of the dragons were.

‘Do I really have to grill an ogre’s tendon?’

Cooking the dish recommended by the Create a Recipe skill would usually give a higher grade dish and give stronger effects for the being that the dish was made for. However, grilling ogre tendon was something that Minhyuk absolutely refused to do.

‘At times like this, it’s better to check with the person himself.’

Minhyuk turned to look at the polymorphed Velach, who had turned into a middle-aged man with long red hair, and asked, “Have you ever tried human cuisine?”

“We don’t eat human food.”

“Why?”

“Do you think we dragons will stoop so low and eat the dishes created by measly humans?”

‘But eating an ogre’s tendon as a meal is way weirder…’ was what Minhyuk wanted to say. However, he just shook his head and swallowed the words down. What each of the races wanted to eat was shaped by their long traditions. At the same time, It was not correct for someone to deny something outright without even trying it.

“Then, try some of the human’s food this time. Just this once.”

The Gourmet Dragon enjoyed eating the humans’ food. This meant that the dragons denied eating it because they had not tasted it yet.

“…There’s no helping it, then.”

Some of the dragons looked very reluctant. However, they knew that they did not have the leisure to argue about this matter.

“I can tell that you prefer grilled meat, why is that the case?”

“It’s easy to make.”

“…”

What an easy and relaxed answer. Humans had three major desires—sexual desire, desire for sleep, desire for food. That was why humans tended to search for more delicious food, food that they would be in awe of and savor in their memories, even if they had to spend quite a lot of money on it.

But the dragons were different from them. For them, cooking was a disgrace. That was why they usually made do with dishes that were fast and easy to make, most of the time opting for the raw option.

Minhyuk nodded and thought, ‘They enjoy grilled or stir-fried dishes. If that’s the case, I should present them with a different type of dish. A dish that everyone in the world will surely love.’

Minhyuk smiled as he looked at the trailer.

‘Fried food.’

This was definitely enough for the dragons that had only tasted a single kind of dish every single day of their lives. On top of that, fried food was something that was easy to eat and could make them experience a new texture and flavor.

‘Fried food tastes good. Even if you fry shoes, it will still taste good.’

Minhyuk grinned as he narrowed his options down. There was a fried dish that everyone liked.

‘Chicken.’

In fact, there was this ‘wise saying’ about chicken, ‘Life is divided before and after knowing chicken.’ It might be a joke, but Minhyuk completely agreed with such a remark.

‘Dad has always told me that I shouted ‘Eureka!’ when I had my first taste of chicken at five years old.’

Chicken was a very delicious dish that was easy to eat, cheap, and enjoyed by everyone, whether they were rich or poor. With the decision made, Minhyuk finally walked to his trailer.

“Can I go in with you?”

“Sure, go ahead,” Minhyuk nodded at Velach’s question. Dragons were curious by nature, they were a race that loved to explore new things, hence, plenty of them entered the trailer with Minhyuk.

‘Let’s make a variety of chicken.’

Cooking chicken did not necessarily mean that it would just be chicken. It was the same chicken meat, but depending on the brand, it would have different textures and flavors. Just when Minhyuk was about to start cooking…

Ring!

[Unexpected Quest: Satisfy the Dragons.]

Rank: SSS

Requirements: The One that will cook for the dragons.

Rewards: Rewards will depend on the dragons’ satisfaction.

Penalty for Failure: Your favor with the dragons will reach an all-time low.

Description: These dragons have never tasted or encountered proper human food in their lives. Let these dragons learn about the wonders of human dishes. You must reach at least 50% in the satisfaction gauge. The higher the satisfaction, the more treasures and gold you will obtain from these dragons’ lairs. However, if you don’t achieve at least 50%, your favor with the dragons will reach an all-time low. What would happen in that situation will be up to your imagination.

‘Good.’

If the satisfaction level was low, then Minhyuk would be put in a situation where he had to be cautious around the dragons. However, he was very confident.

Minhyuk first took out a bunch of chicken that he had marinated in milk.

When making this type of fried chicken, it was supposed to be marinated in milk for around thirty minutes. But Minhyuk was a true and honest foodie; he was the Food God after all. He always carried with him some perfectly marinated chicken. Then, Minhyuk prepared the batter before coating the marinated chicken.

As he moved around busily, the temperature of the frying pan began to heat up. Right now, the trailer had reached its MAX capabilities after perceiving the dangers outside.

‘The most delicious chicken and the greatest buff effect.’

This was the perfect combination. Minhyuk stepped in front of the well-heated frying pan with the bowl of batter-coated chicken in hand as he slowly placed a chicken leg inside. Then…

Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle—

‘Aaaah! What a nice and wonderful sound!’

The dragons perked their ears up to listen to this new and amazing sound. The chicken danced around in the boiling oil as the frying batter floated around. That was when Minhyuk started putting in all of the chicken.

Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle—

Despite the wonderful appearance and spectacular sounds, the dragons still shook their heads.

“Do humans waste their time eating something like this?”

“This is ridiculous. Living like this must definitely be uncomfortable.”

In fact, the dragons were only forced to accept it since it was Minhyuk’s words. They actually did not want to eat these measly humans’ food. Not long after, the trailer’s ‘automatic cooking function’ was activated, making countless well-fried dishes one after the other.

Taak—! Taak—!

The pieces of chicken automatically rose in the air, shaking off the golden oil before landing gently on a plate with their still sizzling skin.

Gulp—

‘…Why am I gulping?’

Velach felt something that he had never felt in his life before. His mouth watered, and he was forced to gulp down his saliva. On top of that…

‘This smell…?’

The scent that wafted at Velach’s nose was quite addictive. Even the other dragons were savoring the smell unknowingly. Minhyuk sprinkled some chicken seasoning sauce over the well-fried chicken as the trailer’s automatic cooking function worked once again to mix everything evenly.

“What a beautiful color.”

“Hoo. That looks fantastic.”

The way the well-fried chicken turned from golden brown to red was a very unfamiliar concept to the dragons. But that was not the end. Minhyuk also made some garlic chicken by tossing some of the garlic seasoning that he made before together with the chicken in the frying pan. He also made some Kyojachon Chicken[1]’s soy chicken and red chicken combo.

The dragons watched the process of making chicken with rapt attention. Once everything was finished, Minhyuk could not help but shout in shock after listening to the notifications.

“That’s crazy…!”

His gaze then wandered around the trailer as he looked at the buffed dishes created with the trailer that had reached the MAX level after sensing the danger outside. After plating everything, Minhyuk placed the chicken in front of the dragons. He also did not forget to place cans of cold beer in front of them.

“Have a taste,” Minhyuk said, voice filled with confidence.

***

Silver Dragon Anarchon had been quite unusual since he was young. His curiosity far surpassed any dragons of his age and his mind was very open and willing to learn.

Unlike the other dragons, Anarchon had once tasted human food. He only ate some out of sheer curiosity. It was a dish that was sold in the street market. If he recalled it correctly, the name was sandwich. Anarchon’s assessment after eating the sandwich was…

‘It tastes gross and rotten…!’

The cheese smelled bad, the ham was tough, and the vegetables were not fresh. The sauce was a little edible but since the ingredients used were nasty, the overall taste was trash. Ever since then, Anarchon distanced himself from human food, not knowing that the sandwich that he ate from the market was a few days old already.

“Human food is trash.”

Anarchon could not help but frown at the food called chicken that was placed in front of him. Even the other dragons looked a bit reluctant once the food was served to them. Then, the person in front of them began to demonstrate. He held a huge chicken leg and took a big bite out of it…

Crunch, crunch—

“…?!”

The sound of the man biting on the leg was very shocking. How could it make a crunching sound when the man bit on it? It was completely different from the sound that they knew of.

Shouldn’t it sound like ‘chew, chew—‘ not ‘crunch, crunch—‘?

Also, the man’s mouth was stained with oil the more he bit on the chicken. However, the man did not stop there. This time, he dipped the huge chicken leg on some salt and…

Crunch, crunch— Crunch, crunch—

“Kgghk~ Fried chicken always tastes soooo good!”

The man then placed the entire chicken leg in his mouth. By the time he pulled it out, only the bones were left. It was quite a marvelous stunt. Anarchon looked down at the chicken in front of him. The chicken placed in front of him was none other than Seasoned Chicken.

“Hmm…”

Anarchon’s appetite was instantly stimulated. He hated human food because of the memories of the experience when he ate that sandwich a long time ago. Yet, the human in front of him was eating happily in front of him.

‘This is so we can hunt Asura…’

They had to eat this so they could survive.

‘I don’t like it when it’s sticky.’

Anarchon immediately frowned at the hot and sticky feeling when he grabbed the seasoned chicken with his fingers. Then, he took a bite of the chicken leg just like how the man did it.

Crunch, crunch—

The sound transmitted from his mouth to ears was art in and of itself. Behind that spectacular sound was the juicy meat, the crispy skin, and the sweet, spicy flavor dancing together in harmony.

“This, this… what’s this…?” Anarchon muttered, eyes wide open as he took another bite.

Minhyuk-llujah~ Minhyuk-llujah~ Minhyuk-llujah~ Minhyuk-llujaaaaaaaaaah!

A heavenly harmony rang in Anarchon’s ears! All of a sudden, there seemed to be a halo shining behind Minhyuk. In fact, Anarchon felt like he heard the man’s voice in his ears too.

‘Have you finally received my food?’

Anarchon hurriedly stuffed another seasoned chicken in his mouth before turning to the fried chicken.

Crunch, crunch—

The fried chicken had a milder flavor and crispier texture compared to the seasoned chicken. And just like what Minhyuk did, Anarchon also dipped it in salt before taking a bite. His eyes unknowingly closed as he savored the flavor in awe and amazement.

Then, the man in front of them moved once again. He opened the cold can of beer with one of his hands.

Fwiiiish—

The man hurriedly brought the can to his mouth the moment the foam rose from the can.

“Sluuuuuurp. Can’t go missing a single drop of this.”

After slurping the foam, the man began to gulp down the contents of the can. Anarchon copied the man, reaching out for the cold can of beer as he thought about the dish called chicken.

‘It’s delicious, but the oil and greasy flavor that stays in the mouth is not so nice. If only this greasy flavor can be washed away...’

As he made his assessment, Anarchon opened the can of beer in his hands.

Fwiiish—

The sound was as fantastic as the sound made when biting chicken. Anarchon lifted the can to his mouth as he gulped the contents.

Gulp, gulp—

“…?!”

Blink—

Anarchon’s eyes widened. The mysterious human drink actually washed away the greasy flavor in his mouth, and even brought a pleasant tickle at the end of his throat. After inhaling half of the can, Anarchon unknowingly spat out a breath.

“Fwaa…!”

Anarchon sounded no different from a tired human that came home from a tiring work and opened a can of cold beer to relax. As he continued to eat, Anarchon turned to look at Elder Velach, who had finished his meal.

‘Elder must have already received his buff. But, why does his expression look a bit unusual?’

Elder Velach’s expression looked like it was not that good. After all, no matter how delicious the food was, they would not be able to win against Asura if the buff was not good. Based on what he looked like, Elder Velach must have already checked his buffs.

Dragon Elder Velach approached the human menacingly and said, “Can you give me some more of this food?”

When Minhyuk looked at Velach in doubt, the prideful and arrogant Velach said, “I’m begging you, just… just one more piece of chicken leg.”

Velach was about to sell his soul for chicken. But the problem was…

“Me too…”

“I’m, I’m sorry for losing my temper earlier. So… can you give me one more piece… please?”

“How about I pay 1,000 platinum per piece?”

…the other dragons were also acting the same way! And Anarchon? He finally finished his last piece of chicken, while the other dragons were busy asking for more. That was when the buff notifications rang in his head one after the other.

1. I’m guessing this is a reference to KyoChon Chicken, a franchise that sells chicken ☜