屁屁影院入口

Chapter 588: Lady of the Snakes, Leona

On top of that, the troops that Absolute Monarch Richard had nurtured were completely different from the Beyond the Heavens’ new guild members. The new guild members were stronger in terms of control among players of the same level and similar stats. As for the members of Maserrati Guild led by the ‘Monarch’ class Richard, they probably grew stronger by accumulating additional stats. The difference was probably further amplified after they grew 20% stronger.

Of course, there had been cases where Minhyuk’s dishes could also allow those who ate them to have an increase of 20% in their stats. However, it was not really something that he could achieve easily.

‘Furthermore, I have to make bulk dishes.’

Minhyuk could not really cook each and every single one of the new guild members\' dishes tailored for them since there were too many dungeons that the Maserrati Guild had taken over. So, he judged that they would only have a chance of winning if he could make bulk dishes with a buff effect that could increase 20% of all of the players’ stats.

Then, Minhyuk immediately thought of the MVP Shop’s slot. The only way for him to unlock the next slot in the MVP Shop was to collect a certain amount of cash. There were also special slots that could only be opened by purchasing it with ‘cash’. These special slots were none other than ‘class specific slots’. Of course, this was most likely a slot for the ‘Food God’ class.

The problem was that it needed 5,000 cash before it could be unlocked. A considerable amount of cash would be consumed just by simply opening a slot? It was definitely an issue. Still, Minhyuk unlocked the slot, thinking that he would be able to get good ingredients.

[Would you like to use 5,000 cash to open the Class Specific Slot?]

“Yes.”

[You have opened the Food God Class Slot.]

Minhyuk had seen before that there were a lot of cooking ingredients that could increase stats permanently in the MVP Shop. However, he had to pay a very high price of 50,000 cash for each of them. They were so expensive that it was impossible for Minhyuk to buy just one of them, even if he combined all of the cash that he had earned so far.

‘It would be a lot cheaper if they had ingredients that only had buff effects.’

The value of an ingredient would be significantly different depending on what kind of effect it could give, whether it could only give buffs or permanent effects. Although ingredients with buffs could provide a better advantage immediately, the fact that it could only be used for a short period of time and could not remain permanently drastically reduced its pros, hence its worth decreased. If there were ingredients like that, then there was a chance that it was within Minhyuk’s acceptable price range.

‘There is…!’ Minhyuk thought as he saw ingredients with only buff effects in the class specific slot in the shop.

[Chicken with the Blood of a Water Dragon, buff effect ingredient. 35,000 cash. Quantity: 1,000.]

“…”

However, Minhyuk’s face turned ugly. Minhyuk had to feed 500 new guild members. The amount of Chicken with the Blood of a Water Dragon available was 1,000, which perfectly suited the number that he had to feed. The problem was that Minhyuk only had around 22,000 cash left. In other words, his cash was far from enough.

‘The effects are good too.’

The effects of the ingredient were obviously outstanding. It could unconditionally raise all stats by 10% or more and also increase one’s skill level.

‘However, considering the infinite potential of the MVP Shop, this is still quite expensive.’

Minhyuk shook off his disappointment and continued to browse through the MVP Shop. He was able to find some ingredients with only buff effects, but most of the things that he found were worth at least 30,000 cash. It was still expensive despite the quantity being over 500.

‘If things continued like this then, opening the class specific slot is a waste… huh?’

Minhyuk’s finger, which was scrolling through the slot, suddenly stopped.

[Grumpy Gochujang that Does What it Pleases. 20,000 cash. Quantity: Can make something for 500 people.]

‘Why is the name like this?’ Minhyuk thought, his expression filled with doubt and confusion. For some reason the name was giving off a completely ominous vibe. Nevertheless, he still checked the ingredient’s information.

(Grumpy Gochujang that Does What it Pleases)

Rank: ???

Price: 20,000

Special Abilities:

•Possesses an ego.

•The dish made from this ingredient will have an epic~legendary grade. However, the Grumpy Gochujang will judge what grade the dish will have. The opinion of the Grumpy Gochujang will account for 50% of the dish’s grade determination.

•The Grumpy Gochujang can make things worse and cause a disaster for the one cooking the dish.

•The Grumpy Gochujang can control the level of spiciness on its own. Caution: There is a chance of getting a deadly level of spiciness once you put it in your mouth.

Description: It is unknown why the Grumpy Gochujang is placed inside the MVP Shop. The use of this ingredient is recommended if you want to present a spicy flavor akin to that of a nuclear bomb to your enemies, any use otherwise is not recommended.

‘What kind of bullshit is this…?’

Minhyuk’s face was colored in disbelief. The absurd content of the ingredient information was something that he had never encountered before. It was already ridiculous that the gochujang had an ego but it could even determine the dish’s grade? On top of that, it could also change the level of spiciness of the dish. In other words, even if Minhyuk was able to make a good dish, if it was spicy enough to the point that a human could not take it then, the dish would be inedible.

‘Is it placed there truly just for the laughs?’

What if that was not the case? The Grumpy Gochujang was worth 20,000 cash so there had to be a chance that it would be nicer than what he thought.

‘We need a strong buff dish to counter and overcome Richard’s Absolute Monarch’s Stigma.’

…Minhyuk needed large amounts of ingredients with special buffs. But he only had around 20,000 cash.

‘Is there really nothing I can do?’

Minhyuk decided to take a gamble. Since he had already determined the buff ingredient that would give him a great boost(?) in strength, he had to choose his main dish. In a way, gochujang, an ingredient that always served as a seasoning, had now turned into the main ingredient. Depending on the Grumpy Gochujang’s mood, the dish that Minhyuk made would either turn into the most delicious gochujang dish, or the most terrible gochujang dish in the world.

‘What’s the dish that will bring out the natural flavor of gochujang? It should also be a dish that foreigners will be able to enjoy.’

There were foreigners among the new guild members of the Beyond the Heavens Kingdom. Because of that, Minhyuk had to put in more thought about the dish that he would make.

Minhyuk thought for quite a while until, ‘Bizarre Tteokbokki?’ he finally made a decision. Bizarre tteokbokki was a dish that was loved by people of all ages, despite its spicy and hot flavor. Just thinking about how he would dip some tteokbokki in a bowl of bizarre tteokbokki sauce was enough to make Minhyuk’s mouth water.

‘Its spiciness should be mild.’

The dish should not be too spicy since there were foreigners among their group. Also…

‘Everything will depend on how he will react.’

In the end, the grumpy guy would be the one to decide whether the dish would be spicy or not. The description, which ended abruptly, implied that it could even set a spiciness level that was akin to a nuclear bomb and could kill.

After deciding on what to cook, Minhyuk brought out the Grumpy Gochujang.

[You have used 20,000 cash to purchase the Grumpy Gochujang.]

The Grumpy Gochujang entered Minhyuk’s inventory. And as he entered his trailer, he said, “Let’s do our best, Gochujang.”

Minhyuk assumed that Gochujang was listening since it was stated it has an ego.

[…]

But no answer came out from the gochujang. Minhyuk looked at it curiously before starting to cook.

‘I think it’s better to mix cheese rice cakes and normal rice cakes.’

Minhyuk prepared the two rice cakes while using the ‘ingredient chopping’ skill to chop the vienna sausages and fish cakes into bite sized pieces. Then, he mixed the Grumpy Gochujang, some sugar, starch syrup, and a bit of curry powder for the sauce.

‘It’s quieter than expected?’

Minhyuk had finally used the gochujang. From this point on, the condition of Minhyuk’s dish, whether it would become the best or a disaster, would depend on the gochujang. However, the gochujang remained silent. Minhyuk could not help but smile softly, thinking that things were going smoothly.

The eternal flames burst out and began to heat up the cauldron, causing the water inside to boil. Seeing that, Minhyuk immediately poured the sauce that he prepared inside. When cooking bulk dishes, one had to be careful not to pour all of the sauce all at once. This was because the sauce was heavier than the water and it would fall to the bottom of the pot and might burn. That was why it was important to gently dissolve the sauce in the boiling water.

When Minhyuk was trying to gently dissolve the gochujang-based sauce with his ladle…

[…But I don’t want to?]

“…?!”

A foreboding and ominous feeling crept up the base of Minhyuk’s spine when he heard the voice ring in his head. It seemed like the gochujang finally answered Minhyuk when he said, ‘Let’s do our best.’ earlier, albeit a bit later. Then…

[The Grumpy Gochujang has started to bother you.]

Rumble, rumble—

“This, this is crazy…!!!”

Minhyuk was appalled. The entire trailer began to shake and tremble, like an airplane that met with turbulence. As Minhyuk continued to dissolve the gochujang-based sauce in the pot, flames burst out on the floor beneath his feet.

Crackle, crackle—

The flames immediately heated up the air inside the trailer.

“S, stop…!”

[I don’t want to?]

Minhyuk was able to maintain his balance and dissolve all of the gochujang-based sauce in the cauldron. However, he did not stop there. He immediately added the regular rice cakes, the cheese rice cakes, the vienna sausages and the fishcakes inside. Then, what did he need to do next? The answer to that was mixing and stirring. At that moment…

Rumble, rumble—

…the trailer began to shake and tremble once again. No, to be exact…

‘Even something like this is possible…?’

The trailer rose a meter off of the ground and began to rotate fiercely. Of course, it became difficult for Minhyuk to maintain his balance. On top of that…

[Abnormal Status. You have started to become dizzy.]

[You have an invincible body that can ignore and resist all kinds of abnormal states.]

Minhyuk’s invincible body that allowed him to avoid abnormal conditions was like a silver lining, a power that he could rely on. However…

“Stopppppp!!!”

It was very difficult to cook in a rotating trailer. Then, suddenly…

Clack—

A strange sense suddenly washed over Minhyuk’s body. The very same feeling when a flying plane’s engine was suddenly cut off. Then, the trailer crashed on the ground.

Thuuuuuuuud—

“Urrrrk!!!!”

Still, Minhyuk did not stop stirring his tteokbokki.

The eternal flames made it possible for Minhyuk to cook delicious dishes with its strong firepower. However, it could also easily burn the bottom of the cauldron. And this was especially true when cooking rice cakes.

Sizzleeee—

“Aaaaaaaack!”

Minhyuk grabbed the handle of the cauldron with his left hand to keep his balance. Since Minhyuk was cooking, the cauldron’s body was in an extremely hot state.

[You have received a terrible burn on your left hand.]

[If the damage on your left hand continues to accumulate, the movements of your left hand will be restricted.]

But Minhyuk kept on holding on to the cauldron.

“Let’s talk this out! Why are you being so mean!!!”

[Because I’m the Grumpy Gochujang. Kyahahahahaha!]

The Grumpy Gochujang roared loudly, making the trailer shake terribly. Still, Minhyuk continued to cook. Then…

Thud—

The air suddenly felt heavy. Simply put, the gravity was suddenly amplified, which pressed down on Minhyuk severely. This, too, was obviously a prank played by Grumpy Gochujang.

[Give up. It will be more comfortable for you if you give up. Do you want to be a tomato? Or do you want to be like that tteokbokki that’s cooking in the cauldron?]

Crackle, crackle—

The blazing flames climbed up on the cauldron and licked Minhyuk’s arms.

[If you don’t let go of your left hand’s hold on the cauldron, you may lose the use of your left arm.]

[Your HP is dropping at a rapid rate.]

The bastard was truly outrageous. Minhyuk was having a harder time than when he cooked the giant cow’s marrow bone or the giant chicken.

[Why don’t you give up? What are you cooking this for? Huh? Kyahahahahahaha!]

“Because there are people who want to eat my food!”

[…]

Minhyuk’s words silenced the Grumpy Gochujang for a moment. Perhaps the bastard realized something from his words? Maybe the owner of the gochujang’s ego was also once a chef?

[…Is that so? Then, I should stop. I am in awe of your heart and passion. You’re really cool.]

Baaaaaaang—

Then, a huge thunderstorm slammed on the trailer from the skies above. The trailer shook greatly, throwing Minhyuk back swiftly.

“Did, didn’t you just say that you would stop?!!!”

[You believed that? What a moron.]

“…Hey, m*therf*cker! F-machinegun[1] #%#$%%@$#” Minhyuk cursed as he crawled through the trailer and fought against gravity to get back to the cauldron.

[Give up. What’s the use of doing something for others? Do you want to become like me? Kyahahahaha! Now, typhoon! Blow fiercely!!!]

Then, a typhoon engulfed the entire trailer.

The trailer, which was devoured by the typhoon, rose from the ground and spun around and around from the fierce winds blowing over it. Fortunately the cauldron was deep enough that its contents would not spill despite the tumultuous surroundings. However, Minhyuk held on tightly to the cauldron just to make sure. Of course, he never stopped cooking. Huge beads of sweat formed on his forehead and dripped down his face. Even the veins on his neck and arms bulged from overexertion.

“Just a bit more…”

[Bastard! Even if you cook desperately like that, the dish that you will create will be trash that cannot be eaten!!!]

But Minhyuk had already fallen into a trance and could not hear the words of the Grumpy Gochujang at all. The Grumpy Gochujang stared at Minhyuk, who was still cooking despite the pressure that was overwhelming him.

[You look just like me in the past. A moron that lived for others but disappeared from their hands. An unfortunate fool.]

Minhyuk did not hear those words either. He just continued to cook with everything that he had. And finally, he sprinkled plenty of mozzarella cheese on the tteokbokki cooking in the cauldron.

Minhyuk seemed to know the reason why the Grumpy Gochujang was acting like this. He continued to sprinkle the cheese while saying, “Stop blaming yourself. You did your best.”

[…???]

“Even if all of the people that you helped cursed you and betrayed you, the fact that you’re the best would still remain.”

The Grumpy Gochujang’s reaction was only natural from Minhyuk’s perspective. After all, gochujang was a ‘one-time consumable item’. Once it was cooked and eaten, then the gochujang was done for. Basically, the Grumpy Gochujang would disappear once this was over.

How scary would that be?

How lonely would he be?

How painful and sad would it be?

That was why Minhyuk said, “The fact that I can use you as an ingredient…”

The mozzarella cheese that was being sprinkled over the tteokbokki looked like white snow melting atop the blooming red flowers.

“…Thank you.”

Silence enveloped the surrounding for a moment. And amidst that silence.

[Fufu—]

A small laughter rang. Then, the notifications rang in Minhyuk’s ears.

[You have made a Legendary Bizarre Tteokbokki!]

[The mysterious existence with power that surpassed the gods has granted a special power to your dish!!!]

[The Legendary Bizarre Tteokbokki will have the most delicious spicy flavor depending on the person eating.]

[The mysterious existence with power that surpassed the gods has granted a special power to you!]

[All of your stats have increased by 2%!]

[Your cooking skill proficiency has increased dramatically!]

[You have acquired the Puzzling Seasoning Jar.]

This day marked the first meeting of Minhyuk and his second teacher right after Sword Emperor Ellie.

1. 씨봉봉 the name of the fan club Jung Kyung-Ho’s character 마준규 in Roller Coaster/Fasten Your Seatbealt, a character who became famous for cursing. ☜