BXBX NOVEL Chapter 205 - Decision
After two hours John returned home and found Roselyn sitting at the edge of the table laying her head on her arms she only lifted her face to gaze at the door as it creaked and nodded with her head.
At the sigh of her upset, John felt his heart tightening and he regretted having lifted his voice, it was her first relationship and maybe she didn't know how to behave and he surely had many women to brag about that could made her feel bad.
He walked closer to her, Roselyn hearing his steps clicking against the marble floor made her lift her head once again and gaze at him hinting at a smile. "I am sorry, for having exaggerated." He murmured, "I forgot how you can feel about my past and not me being open about my intimate habits." He caressed her cheekbones and smiled at her kindly.
"I apologize for having burst out, I was too mad and driven by anger I said things I didn't mean." She apologized.
Roselyn stood up and snuggled around John wrapping her arm around him, "I got curious and when you refused me I thought it had something to do with me." She added in a murmur and John shook his head as he immerses his hand in her hair.
"It has nothing to do with you. It's just that…" he started only to stop in the middle of the sentence, it was like words trapped under his tongue and he was unable to blurt them out.
He swallowed down and cleared his voice to regain back the control over his body and his emotions, "when I usually get that over time my most brutal side awakes and I often lose control. I don't want that to happen." John said, "Especially not to you." He finally revealed and Roselyn took a breath of relief hearing him be honest with her.
His current preoccupations were the same he had months ago only amplified and somehow that reason made Roselyn feel better as she knew how to make him feel better and that there was nothing to worry about. He had the same concern before getting sexual with her too thus in the end she convinced him and he gave up to her. He never hurt her so why worry much?
Roselyn kissed him passionately, as she kissed him she understood how much she missed him even if it had been only a few hours and how much she hated to argue with him. Their dispute was for something minimal and she had to acknowledge and work on her jealousy not to cause scenes like the one they had.
He didn't move his lips he seemed still quite shaken and he departed from the kiss to glance down the floor, "I want to stay alone now." He murmured, he didn't sound mad nor sad more like thoughtful. roselyn's heart dropped in her chest and her mouth dried up, she couldn't stop her facial muscles to contract and her eyes to blink few times for the shake his statement caused her.
She nodded even if deep down she wanted to beg him for forgiveness and apologize until he would hug her tightly and say it was all over.
He turned around and without hesitation nor questions, he walked away. Roselyn had to shush the voice in her head which was pushing her to follow him to remind herself maybe some time alone with his thoughts would help him as much as it helped Roselyn when he was out.
She sat down on the chair where she was sat for three hours which all of a sudden wasn't as comfortable as the usual yet Roselyn didn't know what to do to earn his forgivement.
A crazy idea occurred in her mind and she hesitated whether it could be too hasty or right, the more she thought about it the more she was unsure.
After some minutes to consider the situation she finally took a decision and took a folded paper to unfold it and successfully find what she was looking for. The paper was a draft from the letters he wrote and just lucky he found one of the names of the women he wrote to.
She took a deep breath, reading the name multiple times to fix it in her mind. She swallowed down the fear that was making her hands unstable and shaking terribly. Her idea was to ask the women some information about their past with him more precisely about the night they spent together. She knew from the little information she gathered during the years talking to people who were committed that it was never a good idea to react behind someone or to talk to your current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.
But her decision was only driven by good reasons, as she would use the information she would gather only to improve her relationship with John by doing the same thing the girl did with him.
The decision was just as risky as impetuous but Roselyn was driven by her usual instincts.
She said the name aloud more and more times until she reached in a steady walk the door. She deep breathed as she opened the door and walked past it with a racing heart.
Only when she left the residence she remembered two things that completely slipped out her mind in the impetuosity of the moment: she didn't have her keys so she couldn't come back home and second, the most important thing was that she didn't even have an address about the lady she was looking for but only her name.
How could she find that woman? Especially in a place such as kratez populated by evil supernatural creatures?
All of a sudden her bright idea didn't seem so exciting and great at all, she swallowed down regretting her decision and hoping she would somehow find that woman.
A howl made her shiver and held her breath in fear, looking up at the sky empty of stars.